It has been said that relationships can be the most challenging yoga. Relationships require the same effort, focus, and flexibility as other relationships. As in yoga, marriage, and romantic relationships are like saluting the sun daily. We strive to bring out the best in each other and our lives. We adapt to the unexpected and work with conflict to make it work. And we stretch by loving our partner, even when it’s complicated. It cannot be easy to find the balance between autonomy and intimacy when trying to achieve it.
Many couples are looking for the magic bullet in navigating the many challenges of a relationship. There are many keys to healthy relationships and loving communication. There are no two love stories the same. Each couple must navigate their way through life’s difficulties. In love and marriage, there is no one-size fits. Finding your groove as a couple can bring long-lasting benefits. It’s worth the effort and dedication!
Let’s look at the most common problems in relationships, and then we will discuss ways to improve your relationship.
Top Love Relationship Challenges
- The division of household chores: Who does which?
- Money conflict: Is there any contribution equity? Are one or both partners frugal? Or are they both risk-takers and savers?
- Work stress.
- Different parenting styles and levels of involvement
- Problems with sex, including affairs and infidelity.
- The in-laws: Their financial support, influence, involvement, and expectations.
- Diverse ideas for recreation and adventure-seeking.
- Tech addictions: Is a bedroom safe from tech use? What is acceptable phone usage?
- Spend quality time together rather than on your own.
- Both partners expect the other to be mind reader.
- Unhealthy boundaries.
These challenges are common enough that you have likely faced them all. Sometimes they seem impossible to overcome. There are three things you can do that will help to keep your love alive and improve your relationship.
Each step in the three tips I share will require you to master yours. Although it is not always easy to apply and master these tips, it will be a game-changer once you do! These tips will help you create a solid and loving relationship that you can admire with amazement.
Tips to a Healthy, Loving Marriage and a Strong Love Relationship!
TIP #1 – Honor Your Differences
Expectations of our spouses to be like us can lead to more conflict in love and marriage. They aren’t! Once we understand this, we can respect our differences and not use them as fuel for fighting and arguments.
My husband could not understand or accept my physical sensitivity to stimulation in my first years of marriage. He couldn’t comprehend bright lights, smells, gas leaks, and being bothered by the heater fan’s noise. My first reaction was to dismiss my experiences.
Then, I got it! He was so confused! He was as different from me as the moon is from the sun. He was introverted, while I was more outgoing. His temperament was compassionate, which was a result of a strict mother. My temperament was more sensitive because I had experienced a traumatic childhood. His energy was slow, and his response time was slower than mine. My energy was quick-moving, always on the move!
After that realization, I began to understand my husband’s perspective. It was like watching a sci-fi movie with amazing special effects. His behavior previously consternated me, but now I find myself fascinated and accepting of his inner universe and all the falling stars.
He wasn’t trying to hurt my feelings, but he didn’t have the same perspective. It is human nature to view life through our lenses. Healthy relationships require trust and respect between people’s private worlds, not compromising. Marriage and love need that we are sometimes uncomfortable caring about others.
TIP #2 – Presume Innocence
It is easy to assume that we know what our partner thinks or is doing, but it is easy to make this assumption.
A long time ago, I was contacted by a client who claimed that her boyfriend had an affair. Instead of talking with her jealousy, she checked his emails and texts, followed him to work, and stewed in her worries until she felt sick. To her shock, she couldn’t find any evidence to support her fears.
We explored her anxiety further, and she revealed a strange and disturbing memory she had when she was eight. Her dad’s shouting woke her up in the middle of the night. He was accusing her mother of having an affair. We worked together to reconcile the tender feelings of a little boy that had remained with her. Her obsession with her boyfriend’s behavior dissipated.
Presume innocence. Instead of criticizing or accusing your partner, be curious and start a meaningful conversation together. You can suspend judgment and view life from your perspective.
TIP #3 – Ask better questions of yourself and your partner
Asking more meaningful questions leads to higher quality answers, greater understanding, exploration, and deeper trust in our partners and ourselves.
- Instead of asking your partner why they keep forgetting to empty the trash, ask them what motivates them.
- Instead of getting mad at your spouse and making emotional threats, you can self-reflect and ask, “What about my partner’s behavior triggered it?”
- Instead of complaining about your partner’s inability to open up or badgering them to speak with you, think: “Am I saying anything that makes it unsafe for me to be open and honest?”
Try to understand your partner’s point of view. You will learn to accept how your partner may view life, work, and family.
As yoga strengthens your muscles, trying to understand your partner and not react to them is essential. This will create a flexible relationship. The good feelings will keep you returning for more, just like great yoga sessions.
Contact us today if you need more support or are looking for “relationship counseling near me”
