Dating Dos And Don’ts- Because The First Impression Is Always The Last Impression
Can you remember the first time you fell in love, or the first time you wrote a love letter for someone special, or the first romantic weekend getaway that you planned? Well, maybe not. But memories of the first date are something that you will probably end up reminiscing even when you are old and narrating to your grand children stories of your childhood! Long ago dating used to be considered as a natural step towards finding your right life partner but slowly connotations have been changing with the growth of a modern professional dating industry with lifestyle experts and dating advisors, books and DVDs on this issue giving you all the advice you could possibly need as a dating novice!
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The first date is possibly your first romantic encounter with a stranger, someone who you hardly know yet cannot wait to meet to see how he is and how he feels about you. The anxiety, trepidation and apprehensions that you feel are all part of growing up into a woman. Everything looks like it is part of a dream and you get to play the role of the fairy tale princess. You wish fairy god mother was here to make you look like a princess and that Prince Charming would actually turn the world upside down till he found the lady who had left behind her glass slipper at the ball!
But life is not a fairy tale and as hard as we try we often land up used and heartbroken. We imagine everything to be perfect and although women are good readers of human behavior, we tend to stumble and fall. Dating mistakes can damage a potentially beautiful relationship and you often find that the pettiest of mistakes and carelessness can mar a bright and happy future. First dates are almost always a nerve wrecking experience even for the more experienced daters who too can become silent and unnaturally reserved or capable of silly awkward behavior that can ruin chances of a second date even before the first date is over!
Life offers us few opportunities to grab that wonderful something but we are often unable to see its worth. We make faulty judgments and convey wrong impressions about the way we feel. Here are some significant dos and don’ts of dating that guarantee a marvelous smooth sailing first date:
Dating Don’ts:
- Don’t appear desperate for a relationship; you can be certain your date will soon lose interest in you because men by nature are fond of challenges and getting something too easily disappoints them.
- Sound confident and independent-minded yet someone who is equally willing to accommodate divergent views. Do not stay docile and reserved as he may think you have no opinions at all.
- Do not be overbearing or cling to him because no man is likely to be thrilled by the prospect of being with someone who is over possessive. Even a married man needs his space and it is absurd to think that he will enjoy you being a constant nag!
- Do not try and give in to everything he says simply to appease him. This benevolent stance may not always pay off because men can read pleasers.
- Never give in to your insecurities though women are known to be inherently accustomed to putting a whole lot of faith in a person in too short a time. Little does she realize then what a heavy price she may have to pay for this dependency and selfless affection!
- Do not bombard him with questions regarding what his future plans are, or when he wants to start a family and what views he has on marriage etc.- he is sure to feel claustrophobic.
- Do not pressurize him to talk about commitments because that might actually scare him off.
- Never discuss past failed relations with the new man in your life!
- Do not ever try to dominate the conversation and go on bragging about yourself with complete disregard for the man sitting on the opposite side of the table. Would it come as a surprise if he got bored and promised never to go on a second date with you?
- Try not to keep him waiting for you on your first date since it can send out a wrong signal.
- Never pretend to be someone you are not because if you do not like who you are chances are he will neither.
- Consciously avoid asking your buddies to accompany you on your first date. This will only add to his woes and get him all nervous.
- A glass of wine may add to the evening’s romance but excess of alcohol may do more harm than good.
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Some Dos On your first date:
- Swipe the dating slate clean every time you go on a new date because comparing him with your past lover can be more detrimental than you think
- Try and find out what he really enjoys doing on a date- for all you know be he may be an adventure sports freak and may actually want to go bungee jumping with you!
- Steer clear of sensitive topics relating to the past that may result in an argument.
- Converse in a way expressing genuine interest in what he enjoys doing instead of professing your love from the moment you set eyes on him. When you are out with someone your aim should be to make that person feel special.
- Appreciate his efforts to make the evening special for you- you can only gain from this gesture!
- Remember always that the trick to a successful first date lies in how you portray yourself.
- How you dress for the occasion shows how you feel about it too. Wear something that compliments your personality and makes you feel at ease. The evening may be going even better than your expectations but remember to stick to deadlines to create a strong impression.
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Your first date will always be extra special to you and you have every reason to feel anxious and excited at the same time. These simple dating suggestions can guide you in ensuring that you always have pleasant memories of that first romantic date of your life. The trick is not to get too serious about the meeting and let nature take its own course. What is destined to happen will inevitably happen and learning to take it in your stride is what will make you a woman of substance!
