Working Together Inside The House

Living together is often considered as a litmus test before taking the final plunge. Some people are quite content about living together without ever getting married while some others see cohabiting as a necessary phase prior to contemplating marriage. Compatibility quotient is what most couples try to analyze when they fall in love and before they actually exchange vows. Sometimes economic constraints also drive couples to opt for a live-in solution to cut down on expenses prior to the wedding. For some others this is the best way to share a home together without any legal bindings so that in case one of the partners fails the test he or she is welcome to move on without having to go through the legal hassles of a messy divorce.

Some vital issues that need to be addressed before deciding to live together are :

• Whether both are certain about living together and have discussed the issue at length.
• Whether both are mature and responsible enough to take this step.
• Whether they will look for a new house or continue to stay at any one’s place.
• Whether all expenses are to be equally divided.
• Whether all financial matters are to be kept separate.

However in spite of the best intentions, live-in relations are often found to be heading troubled waters and problems that surface are no different from those encountered by regular married couples. One of the most common issues that affect this relation is the division of household chores. Sharing household chores should be the norm but in many instances the man is found to be neglecting this duty. Married man it is seen are less active around the house in helping their wives than live-in partners. In a marriage the husband tends to take his wife for granted and leave the household jobs of cooking and cleaning very easily to their wives. In a live-in relationship too this tendency may soon develop but there are some ways to help control this:

• It is not right to find fault with the work done by a partner at all times because this can lead to a lack of interest.
• Both partners should discuss at length about what each expects from the other in a live-in relation to avoid getting disappointed.
• It is always nice to ask for help instead of ordering it. This makes the partner keener to share household chores without getting into an ugly fight over any issue.
• Men like being given the choice to do what they want and its best to make him feel that his help is absolutely essential to get all those things done perfectly. A list can be made of all that has to be taken care of and then he may be asked to do at least three of them by the evening. Chances are he will do all without much coaxing.
• Finally, it is always imperative that one appreciates whatever work his partner does. If any one partner is complaining about the lack of help he or she is getting from the other in keeping the house running smoothly, then they should ideally first talk about it and then actually do something more to make a difference.