What Kills Live-In Relations

A live-in relationship is often perceived as an ideal solution to couples who wish to share a home without any commitments or legal binding. It may be because of financial advantages that a live-in relationship brings or it may be the hassle-free ambience that this relation guarantees where there aren’t any bindings or expectations. All this sounds too good to be true and soon enough cracks start appearing on the surface.

• Nearly 78% of such live-in couples are found to be extremely skeptical regarding their future. Although some try to convince themselves that the relation in which they are in should focus only on enjoying life at the present and not worry about the future, but in reality this is easier said than done. Each one of them would admit that there has been at least one instance in his life when he or she has felt that his future looked terribly bleak. It is surprising that working women appear more secure in such relations than do the men possibly because of their financial stability. But then again it is more often the women who tend to face depression once cracks start appearing in their relation.
• A major hindrance to any such relation is the reluctance on part of any party to get married which is often viewed as being forced. While the woman tends to feel that her partner is not ready for marriage, the latter feels no need for exchanging vows given that they are happier this way. This may also be true vice versa but chances are far less.
• It is mostly the man who feels that the woman is to blame because of her lack of trust and patience in an arrangement like this.
• Sharing responsibilities is one of the prime relationship killers. More than half of the women in such relations feel men should show more responsibility.
• Such couples often refrain from openly discussing issues that plague their relation. Regardless of the mutual respect and love that they have for each other the element of communication is almost negligible.
• Any relation that solely rests on sex is not likely to survive long because very soon more sensitive issues start to damage the relation.
• The financial health of a couple is perhaps the single most damaging factor in such live-in relations. When one of the parties earns more than the other the financial burden shifts on him or her and this may pose a big threat. In those homes where there are children, it is often mutually decided that one partner is to stay at home to bring up the children.
• At times one of the partners may refuse or even fail to pay up bills which in turn can spell disaster and create greater pressure on the other working partner. If bills are left unpaid it can cause credit imbalance and the result could be disastrous. In such cases both partners have to be equally keen to work through their problems to improve the situation. It is always unwise to move in together when one of the partners does not have an earning. In times of emergencies it is better to make use of money from a joint account that has been set up to handle unexpected expenses.

Thus live-in though apparently easier to handle in reality is a tightrope walk. There are many instances when one can trip as the above discussions show and learning to walk this rope may call for tremendous hard work and patience.