Making The Live-In Decision

Through time immemorial marriages have acted as safe houses for couples to bring up their children in a secure and stable environment. While the husband went out to earn a living the wife stayed at home to look after the family and do household chores. But all this has completely changed in the last 50 years or so and dissolving a marriage when it is no longer conducive to hold on to it is no longer a hard decision to take. Divorces are rampant today and the new age couple is keener to enter into a live-in relationship than to exchange wedding vows. Among the many reasons behind this sociological change has been the growing independence of women and the legal and financial hazards associated with a nasty divorce. This preferred alternative to marriage is cohabitation that comes free of commitments, responsibilities and legal hassles.

However those who still have conservative beliefs do not approve of this new found arrangement of sharing a life together. Some important factors that one needs to ponder before making the decision on whether to live together without being married are as follows:

• Love is the deciding factor in any such relationship and living together means some more responsibilities than simple dating or taking off for the weekend. There are some strings attached no doubt although not legal.
• The place for staying together, whether at one’s own place or her partner’s or renting out a totally new place to set up their home.
• Household chores are expected to be suitably divided between both partners and this must to be clarified at the very outset.
• Financial preparedness for entering into such an arrangement must be carefully analyzed. Provided both are into stable jobs and expenses can be shared equally, normally the decision to live together becomes easier.
• In case any one or both the families do not approve of the relationship, it is important to talk to them about it and to come up with a solution that is in everyone’s interest.
• Trusting each other unconditionally is the first step to a successful live-in relationship. If any one of the two parties appears to be hesitant about the arrangement it is wise and practical not to push it till the other person is ready. Sharing the same house will give both enough scope to witness their mutual flaws and imperfections.
• Sex should not be the only determinant when it comes to opting for a live-in relation. What is important is trust, patience and maturity to be able to deal with the hardships that one may have to face when starting on a life together.
• Living together calls for endless compromises to maintain a healthy and stable relation.

The bottom-line is that, if one cannot accept his partner for who she is and if one cannot reconcile to the idea that once he decides to move in some things are going to have to change, then perhaps he is not yet ready for it. Cohabitation rarely leads to a stable and long lasting relationship because commitment is not binding and in its absence couples get embroiled in tiffs, insecurity issues and succumb to acute depression.